I haven’t written a lot about becoming a mother this past year. First of all because this is a sewing blog, but also because I felt like I hadn’t gathered my thoughts about it yet. It has been such a big transition and I feel like I’ve finally come out the other end. We’ve managed to settle our life as a family. We’ve got a pretty good routine going for all of us, and everyone is faring well by it. Frida is doing well, it is such a joy to see her becoming her own person now that she’s growing from baby to toddler. So when Monserrat, Jodi and Erin announced their Ease In To Motherhood series, I found I was ready to talk about this first year of motherhood and what it has brought me.
Even with a smooth pregnancy and a pretty normal (though 19-hour) birth, what I found hard was that there is no break. You’re already pretty tired and miserable at the end of pregnancy, then you have to perform the hardest labour (as in WORK) of your life, after which there is 24/7 care of a tiny human. It’s insane. And then when you have a baby who doesn’t sleep longer than 30 minutes at a time during the day, for 5 months, you just need a break. And there isn’t any, not really. But sewing helped me to keep my head above the water, if barely. It’s what I told Stef when asking for help to create sewing time for myself: this isn’t a frivolous hobby, I NEED to do this because it is keeping me sane. To be able to focus on something else besides a not-sleeping baby was such a bliss. It was something I was good at, I did not need to doubt every stitch.
But I cannot believe how much has changed, 6 months later. I don’t even (want to?) remember it all, I sometimes even think, was it really that bad? (Yes. It was. ) That’s how mother nature tricks us into having MOAR BABIES, you guys. But especially since Frida started going to daycare at 6 months, I have slowly created a daily routine where I have time to do the things I want. It’s not nearly as much time as I had before, but I wouldn’t go back for the world. Because in the end, it has brought me so much. And I am not talking about the love you feel for your kid, although there is that too of course.
Motherhood for me has been like finding a piece of myself I didn’t know was missing. It has brought me confidence. Not necessarily when it comes to Frida and being a mother, but in other areas when confidence was lacking. It’s like I have found something more important than anything else, that needs my constant attention, and I just can’t fuss about other things anymore. My body has changed, but I’m fine with that. It has given me a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby, so it is fine the way it is. I am re-discovering my style with more ease than before. I am more confident in designing patterns, even. I no longer care whether what I design will be on trend, neither am I intimidated by other (popular) designers. I trust my skill and just hope that will be enough. Before Frida was born, I had all sorts of thoughts about what having a baby would be like, but I had never thought it would change me in such a way.
If you’d like to read more stories, I especially enjoyed Jodi’s, Stephanie’s and Vicki’s posts. If you want to share your story, write a blog post during the month of July, and talk about your experience as a mother and sewist. If you’re on Instagram, share your story there or just share a moment that makes you feel like you embrace yourself in this journey. SeamstressErin, MexicanPink and at SewFearless will round up the posts weekly. Let them know in a comment or email them at email@example.com. If you post on Instagram use the hashtag #EaseIntoMotherhood.